Life Lately

September 5, 2013 § Leave a comment

I don’t know if I’ve told you, but I’m in my office a total of two days between August 22 and September 22. The travel is a mixture of work and play {the awesome cruise last weekend}, and for the most part it’s extremely enjoyable. I like getting out from behind a computer screen, sitting sedentary all day. I love getting to spend time in the “field” with the people making things happen.

But boy oh boy, does it take a toll on some things.

For one, sleep. It’s 3:25 am EST and 12:25 PST where I am right now. Both of those are much too late to be up working. But when you’re out of the office all day, your email doesn’t stop and neither do your other responsibilities. So you feel this pressure. Pressure to still perform at the level people are used to. Pressure to not drop any balls that you are normally good at juggling. And interestingly enough, when you’re traveling, most of the time you have more evening commitments than you would at home. Later work meetings, work dinners, visits to competitors in the area, etc., etc., etc. If you’re traveling with people who want to maximize the most out of a city, then this can have you returning to your room at 10 pm… still with all that email to take care of. And then there’s your family. If I’m on the road, I want to talk to Joel for a while so we can stay connected. But by then you find yourself up at 12:30, and you still really want to keep up your commitment to your blog, to your journaling, to your time with the Lord.

And you just feel kind of exhausted. But thankful too, because you’re not stuck at your computer tomorrow.

And then you remember all those Jesus Calling reminders that say:

“Trust me in the midst of a messy day. Your inner calm – your Peace in my Presence – need not be shaken by what is going on around you. Though you live in this temporal world, your innermost being is rooted and grounded in eternity. When you start to feel stressed, detach yourself from the disturbances around you. Instead of desperately striving to maintain order and control in your little world, relax and remember that circumstances cannot touch my Peace.

Seek my Face, and I will share my mind with you, opening your eyes to see things from my perspective. Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid. The Peace I give is sufficient for you.”

{August 26}

And then you realize that letting go of control and the desire for perfection and, especially, the desire to please everyone and never screw up is really necessary in order to experience the true provision and refuge of Christ. To realize that no matter what you think, even on your best days when you’ve got your stuff together, you really don’t and all control is just an illusion. We can’t do anything apart from Christ. And resting in His finished work for us should be a pure and beautiful relief.

So I’m thankful for the chaos. And I hope it continues so I keep getting slapped in the face by my realizations that I need Christ to sustain me every hour. The truth is hard, but it is good. And I want to bask in that discomfort and pray for the Holy Spirit to continually remind me of God’s grace towards me in all of it.


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