Well Hello There!

April 7, 2014 § 1 Comment

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyy everyone! I have so. many. things to tell you. Life has been in-saaaaaane over the past few months and I’ve wanted to tell you everything, but so much of it required silence until the right moment. So instead of getting on here and not being able to talk about the things on my heart, I decided to just stay silent until I could really share. So here we go!

Right around Christmas 2012, I started thinking a lot about the fact that I didn’t really have dreams. As a person who likes to live my life with whimsy (hence the blog name), it just seemed odd that I didn’t have a big vision for my life other than becoming a grandmother. While I still feel that is the most exciting life accomplishment ever, I still have about 30 years in the meantime to do stuff. And when I thought about those 30 years potentially being spent in a corporate office day in and day out, it made me really sad. But, I didn’t have anything else identified to work on for those three decades. I knew motherhood was high on the list, Lord willing, but I also knew that I’d want to have other work that was mine to be doing.

So January 2013 began the journey of figuring out what my dreams were going to be. I prayed for the Lord to make it clear to me what his calling and purpose for my life was. I asked to know more about him and how I fit into his overall story. As I mentioned in my New Years post, be careful what you wish for. While I asked for what I should do first and then for me to know him better, I only felt like I knew what to do after he taught me some very difficult lessons about the type of person he wanted me to be. And after listening to this sermon, I realize that is probably the way he always works.

To my utter dismay, just as I embarked on this journey to discover my dreams, work only became more difficult – and not just because of my new revelation of potential 30-year corporate sadness, although that definitely contributed. I had been moved off of work and a team I loved and received an entirely new role that was not even remotely related to my skill set or background. And while on paper it should have been a good fit for me, I nearly fell apart every day coming to work. I learned that a lot of this had to do with my personality type {an ISFJ through and through}. Through learning more about how I function, I realized that being a “big ‘L’ leader” {I now hate this phrase} is not something that I desire or that will ever come natural to me. People with my personality type are much happier when working hard behind the scenes, creating beauty and helping others {several ISFJs become counselors, social workers, interior decorators and administrators} – and these were all callings that felt much more comfortable to me. This was the first step in learning where I needed to go.

At first, I thought that I really just needed to get back into my previous role that I loved. That way, at least working in a role I felt qualified to do, I could buy some time to figure out what I wanted to do long term. So after working up lots and lots of courage, I had a discussion with my then boss to figure out if we could make a transition. It didn’t go very well. I walked away from that discussion feeling discouraged and like God really wanted me to stay in this tough work for a while. So head down, I grinned and bore it for about six more months. In the meantime, I suppressed my dream journey, thinking I really just needed to go through this season of dissatisfaction at work because that’s what God wanted for me. I prayed through this time to find joy in my circumstances and for the Lord to make it clear to me when that time of pushing through could be over. But honestly, I never really felt like I heard from the Lord. He felt really distant to me, which only made things harder.

Well in September, I went to a ladies retreat where this counselor spoke about living life well. She talked about how as women, we often live lives full of worry and shame, but that isn’t God’s best for us. The words she spoke just shook something deep inside of me. Those dreams I had been striving to identify earlier in the year started whispering in my head again, saying “remember me! remember me!” I didn’t know what I was supposed to do yet, but I knew that what she was saying was meant for me and that I needed to really do some soul work with her. So I started seeing her monthly and just digging deep into what was happening. Why was I, a person normally filled with positivity and general excitement about everything, living this flat-lined life, numb to things going on around me, purely to try and keep myself from feeling this pain?

I realized a lot of things.

I first realized that I was ashamed to be so upset about work. It revealed idols in me. And I didn’t want to be a person who idolized work. So this shame had just been keeping me from really engaging with any of it.

Once we got past the fact that work was an idol for me, really brought it out into the open, it didn’t eliminate the fact that the work I was doing was sucking my soul out. Once I really started dealing with my thoughts, I realized I didn’t believe the work I was doing was important, and on top of that, I didn’t feel good at it or qualified to be making the decisions I was making. So you’d think that would be enough for any normal person to say, well this is obviously NOT a fit, so why don’t you just go get another job?

Well then we got to an even deeper heart thing – I have never known another career outside of this one. In fact, I had been basically groomed for this company since I was a wee one. This was my “destiny.” And the company is a fantastic one. They do incredible things, treat their employees beyond anything you can imagine and actually conduct business based on biblical principles. It’s a place people work their whole careers to get to. And I had gotten in straight out of school. Why would I ever want to leave? The voices in my head kept saying, “You can’t leave. You’re being naive. You’re being ungrateful. You will never have it better than this. You are stupid to think leaving will make you happier. The grass is always greener. God wants you here. You can’t leave.” And more than that, many people on the outside were saying the same thing. So it just reinforced the thoughts in my head that I must stay. It became this really beautiful glass prison. More than anything in the world, I wanted to leave. But I just kept reminding myself that was the absolute most foolish thing I could ever think. I had to stay. Once we got here and I said these things out loud – I knew it. They were lies. Not all of it – it really is a great company, people really do work their whole careers to get there, and leaving should not be taken lightly. But having to stay to be happy and successful wasn’t true for me. And God did not require me to stay to be doing good work. I could leave and still be working towards good things.

This was a massive breakthrough for me. Massive.

But it still wasn’t the end of my journey. Knowing I could and should leave was great. But what on earth was I going to leave for?

So I just started soaking up resources to help me unearth what would really bring me to life. I read everything I could on my personality type. I read Every Good Endeavor by Tim Keller – his new book on work. I soaked up podcast after podcast, and Ted Talk after Ted Talk. I scoured the entire Fast Company article set on work life happiness. I went through Storyline by Donald Miller with my dear friends. Storyline really helped me to see that corporate life was never going to be consistent with who I am as a person. I needed to be doing something that was more about the heart than the bottom line. We were getting warmer!

Then I got to design the rehearsal dinner invitation for my sister and brother-in-law’s wedding. And it was so fun. And people liked it. And it just got me thinking – I could do this. It’s what I did in my free time. For years, on my sick days at home, I have download fonts all day and made random things. I pin 10 prints to every one other type of pin on Pinterest. I get super excited about gorgeous hand-lettering. These are the things that get me excited.

I never heard a big voice from heaven calling out, or even giving me a small sign, that this was what I was supposed to do. But feeling like both options were good and could serve the Lord, I felt the freedom to just make a decision. So after some serious talks with Joel about finances and reality, we made the decision that I would quit my job this year and we would embark on this journey of creating my own business.

And the second we made that decision, the Lord just snow-balled everything. Connections came out of the wood works, resources laid themselves at my feet, and a job became available. One that would help me get out of the 9-5 grind and into a creative setting at fewer hours. One where I could be inspired and learn and come home and build this thing. We weren’t expecting it to happen so soon. But after some serious prayer, we realized that it was the right moment. Why not quit now {even without a single bit of the business started} and start building it? Even if we are poor for a little while, we decided better now than when we have kids and I have no time to build something new.

So at the end of February, I gave my notice and I was out the door by mid-March. Insane.

So now my days are spent going to my little part-time job, crafting all day, and then I come home and work on building my Etsy business. I don’t want to grow an empire, Lord willing, I just want to create a small business selling wedding invitations, save the dates, birth announcements, Christmas cards, and other life happening announcements. My big dream is to eventually start a non-profit where I {and hopefully other creatives} create prints with inspiring quotes and verses that we give away to women going through difficult times living in different types of institutions {think homeless shelters, nursing homes, prisons – is this even possible?!? I have no idea!}. If I am so encouraged by these words beautifully laid out as a reminder to my heart, maybe some of them will be too? And then I will hopefully be able to give back so that those women can receive counseling as well. So we’ll see what the Lord does with all that!

It’s been a crazy journey – but I have such peace that this is what the Lord was calling me towards. I had a lot to learn before it was time to venture out. Most importantly, I think the Lord taught us that we craved control too much. We have always had these plans about finances. We needed to do A in order to be ready for B and thennnnn we could achieve C. Because then we would never be in an uncomfortable situation. I think this is good to a certain extent. We should be wise and good stewards of the gifts we’ve been given. But as much as we wanted to be, we were not asking for the Lord to be in control totally. So I think that silence from the Lord I mentioned earlier was intentional. I wanted him to tell me what to do so that I could be 100% sure it was the right thing and know that he would take care of us, because that’s what he wanted for us. Instead, he stayed quiet and required me to just make a decision. A decision that may or may not be the right one. But that would require me to trust him. To trust that if it were the wrong thing, he would catch us and take us to where he wanted us. To have some faith. To be brave and know that he would be there for us.

So here we go, trying to be wise and plan a little, but ultimately to trust him to provide. It’s going to be a crazy journey, I’m sure, but I’ve never felt more excited about what the Lord is going to do.

I plan to chronicle my journey through creating an Etsy business here so that any of you hoping to do the same thing in the future can use it as a resource. Others have been so gracious with sharing their time and experiences – I want to do the same. So please be sure to check back and go on this adventure with me!

Print Happy: Waiting Period Inspiration Board

October 23, 2013 § Leave a comment

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

It’s been a while since I posted a Print Happy. And that’s crazy because I have been racking up loads and loads of favorites over on Pinterest. So I actually had to do some paring down to get to this list of nine.

This group of prints are an homage to the awkwardness of the waiting period between identifying that you have a dream and actually getting to the place where you’re living out that dream. Because the reality is, as soon as you decide you’re going to live out your dream, you don’t always get to jump to the benefit-reaping stage. There is actually a lot of hard work and patience and trusting the Lord that’s happening in the interim.

So this is my “work hard with this end in mind” but “don’t be ungrateful for where you are now” inspiration board {double negatives, I love you}. Hope it helps you if you’re in a season of waiting as well.

Print Happy

August 9, 2013 § Leave a comment

1 | 2 | 3 | 4

It has been a difficult couple of weeks. Moreso difficult for others we love than for us specifically. But it hurts to see someone you care for hurting. So the first and fourth print have been speaking some good truth into my life lately.

Two and three are tough. They are good reminders that I need to be praying for a humble spirit. The tongue is a fire, and if I’m not careful, it can engulf me.

Thankful for all these reminders lately. Hoping for a restful weekend… for you too!

Print Happy: I Was Made for You

July 26, 2013 § Leave a comment

The Story*brandi carlile: the story*

Print Happy: 14 Recent Favorites

July 19, 2013 § Leave a comment

Some of my favorite prints of late. Hope they inspire you as much as they inspire me!

*sources included in captions*

Print Happy: Oh, For Grace

July 10, 2013 § Leave a comment

Oh For Grace

Lyrics from the hymn “Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus.” Such sweet words. Thankful for their truth.

Print Happy: Sean Tulgetske

June 27, 2013 § Leave a comment

Steady as the Morning

Have you heard about Sean Tulgetske yet?? I feel like I’m seeing his name and his work everywhere all of a sudden and I’m loving it. Sean is a hand-letterer that recently started a collaboration with sevenly, an awesome organization that highlights a different product for purchase each week and gives the proceeds to a specific charity.

Sean’s work is everything I love: unique typography, against beautiful images, highlighting inspirational words.

Some of my other favorites are:

Thrilled this guy is getting so much attention and can’t wait to see more of his work in the future!

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